I just wanted to share something very personal here. My journey toward self-love and self-acceptance has been a LONG journey recovering from childhood abuse of every kind.
I’m finally learning to really LOVE myself flaws and all! There are good days and not so good days; however, my better days outweigh the not so good ones.
I turned 62 on May 18th and 5 days later I decided I NEEDed change with my hair! I was tired of the braids, and so in a spontaneous moment, I decided to cut it all off!
I became the canvas and the ARTwork was/is ME! and I held the paint brush (scissors) and I could do whatever I chose to do with it and I did.
You guys I cannot tell you how AMAZING I felt when I made that first cut on my hair. Surprisingly, I felt as if a tone of weight was lifted off my entire body; this is the only way I can explain it.
I had drawn a girl’s face with short hair a couple days BEFORE I cut my hair. I had just put into a book and it fell out last night.
As I looked at it, I decided to use an ink pen over the pencil and decided to use ink for her hair! Isn’t that wild? I NEVER use ink pen for any of my girls…EVER because you can’t erase the mistakes!
Then I wrote a few words around her; I realized she represented me when I realized I drew her with very short hair. My identity is so much more than my hair or body for that matter! Lol
My LIFE is my canvas and I can choose to paint whatever I want that brings me joy, purpose, happiness, fulfillment, adventure, and fun, and meaningful relationships!
I share this in the hopes that it will encourage someone else who may have the same struggles. Thanks for reading.
I did this sketch about a week ago. After finishing it and kinda staring at it, the following words came into my mind “I’m at peace with who I am becoming!
Those words definitely resonated with me since I’ve been on a personal emotional healing journey where I’m finally learning how to LOVE and ACCEPT my SELF, along with the good, bad, and the ugly sides of me.
I learning how to become more aware of the stories (lies) that I’ve been telling myself and still tell myself and changing and interrupting those thoughts with words of truth.
God is helping me to heal and get out of my own way! I’m truly enjoying the FREEDOM of just enjoying who I really am and who I am becoming.
I was going through some of my earlier drawings and found this beauty I had drawn in 2017. At that time, I had no idea you could color portraits using colored pencils and I’d never heard about Prismacolor Color Pencils before either.
I’ve learn so, so much since 2017 and have grown by leaps and bounds! I decided to try my knowledge gained so far and color her with color pencil. I still have a long ways to go and still get confused on the whole layering thing.
I honestly just intuitively pick out colors and blend them. I started coloring yesterday and kinda gave up because it was looking really hopeless (the ugly stage as Karen calls it). I kinda through aside and told myself maybe I revisit it today.
This morning I kept working at it and for me it was WOW! Perfect? Nope! Am I happy with her? Oh, yeah, Baby!!! ?
I took a few process photos when I remembered to.
I decided to draw a color pencil portrait using Prismacolor Color Pencils and watercolor. Unfortunately, I used a cheap so-called sketchbook I bought from Walgreens. Although the cover stated it’s a sketchbook, it really is nothing more than copy paper bound with coil!
It did not do well, of course, with watercolor and the paper started to wrinkle and I totally disliked the way the color pencil lay on the paper and the blending was not that great either. However, I still like the way she came out and it was good practice anyway! Lol
Although I LOVE drawing whimsical faces/art, I work at purposely stretching myself to attempt drawing ‘realistic’ faces. They are not easy at all; sometimes it’s fun to me and other times it’s the most frustrating experience!
The photo below is a photo of myself a few years ago which is my reference for the above. Clearly, I missed the mark for drawing exactly what I was seeing! LOL
Something happens, almost 100% of the time, when I’m trying to work from a ‘realistic’ photo. I seem to slip off into a flow that I forget about the photo reference and I start doing whatever is flowing through my mind. My drawing comes out totally different from what I started off with and almost always I LOVE the outcome!
I used to get really angry when this happened; however, I realize this is how I flow naturally during my creative process. I find I do so much better when I intuitively create art. I’ve learn to accept this and really enjoy and be thankful for it. It’s uniquely who I am as an emerging artist.
So, even though my self-portrait practice attempt doesn’t look like me, I am pleased with the beauty who wanted to be born and her beautiful smile!
As I go through my journey to healing and self-discovery, I’m at peace with who I am BECOMING!
I dedicate to every woman young or old who are actively working on themselves to heal inner wounds/hurts and learning to get to know themselves probably for the first time in their lives. We, as women, often take care of the other people in our lives and often forget that we need to make ourselves a priority too! Self-care is extremely important along with mental health as well.
I encourage my sister friends to get to the place where you too can say, “I’m at peace with who I am BECOMING! LOVE yourself right where you are; don’t wait until…whatever you’re telling yourself before you love YOU! NOW is the time…day-by-day, one step at a time! You are worthy and valuable not matter what challenges you have going on!
I’m cheering you on!
Right after I completed first coloring page “Whimsical Afro Girl,” I created this one. I sketched this yesterday and she had an afro but I kept seeing her with a turban on instead. I then decided to add random lines for designs on her turban and was pleased with the outcome. So, I decided to turn this into another coloring page, which I titled Whimsical African Queen Coloring Page. I excited about coloring her too! Lol